Grief Without God – Thank You to The Thinking Atheist

Yesterday I was afforded the opportunity to join a podcast called “Grief Without God” by The Thinking Atheist and I encourage everyone to check it out:

I wanted to thank Seth (The Thinking Atheist himself) for asking me to join his show and share my story with other atheists.  It gave me a platform that I have been hoping for ever since beginning this blog and the support and feedback I have received from so many people is both overwhelming and appreciated.

This is obviously a subject very close to my heart and while there were so many things I wished to say, I was able to convey most of it and for that I am grateful.  It also made me realize how important it is to update this blog often and discuss the issues that really matter to me.

My Family

My Atheism

And hopefully encourage others to do the same.  I would really love to build a community of people who are not afraid to stand up and proclaim their atheism to those around them.  Not just online, but in life…where we can make a real difference.

Many people have said how “inspiring” I am and twice now I have been called “brassy”…which I totally love.  Well to be fair, one person (Seth) said I was brassy and another person who contacted me through this blog said I had “brass balls”, which is totally appropriate I think hehehe

Don’t tell my husband, might freak him out!

Anyway, if you have not had the opportunity to listen to the podcast I really encourage you to.  It is a very moving and heartfelt session.  There were many callers after my interview that all had great things to say and moving stories that we can all relate too.  Well if you can’t relate to them yet, then lucky you, but one day you will have to learn how to deal with grief and I sincerely hope that you deal with it without God.

That is what I wish for all humanity.  A life and death without God.

Enjoy and take care!

xoxo

34 CommentsLeave a Comment

  1. Carl says:

    Just listened to the podcast, I greatly appreciate you sharing your story. It’s refreshing hearing your grieving process without God. I think your blog is very touching and congrats on being pregnant again!!

    Lots of love,
    Carl

  2. travis says:

    Just listened to your talk on The Thinking Atheist. First off wow, your such a strong person and i really admire your courage. Second, congrats!
    do keep us posted! ^^
    much <3

    ~Travis

  3. Joshua says:

    I heard you speak, Lei. I’ve left you a message, already on the TTA Facebook page. Again, thank you for sharing your story and congratulations on expected your twins.

    *HUG*

    Joshua A Brogan

  4. Erin says:

    Thank you for participating in this episode of TTA! I was welling up as I listened to your story and I will forever keep the words “What better place for a baby then in their mother’s arms” in my mind as I talk with parents who have lost their children. Last May I attended a funeral for a baby born with complications and I couldn’t bring myself to say the throw away words I was hearing from others. I looked at the mother, she looked at me and I just hugged her, sometimes actions are better then words. Again, thank you for telling your story, I’ll be sure to pass on word of your blog to other people in need.

  5. Deb says:

    Thank you for having the courage to share your touching story on “The Thinking Atheist” podcast. I was able to relate when you spoke about the anger and frustration that gets bitten back as people offer religion-laced condolences, and I liked the methods you shared for dealing with those situations. It showed such strength on your part to be able to remain assertive about your atheism, and what you needed from people, while controlling your reaction to the offense they often unwittingly caused. Congratulations and best wishes to you and your growing family.

  6. Kristin says:

    Thank you for sharing your story and situation with us on the The Thinking Atheist. I sure appreciate it. I’m wishing you the very best with your pregnancy!

  7. Sherri M. says:

    Listened to the podcast this morning and I think you did a great job. I lost my daughter at 39 weeks almost 12 years ago and I had a really rough time coping. And the main reason? Bc I thought God believed I would be a bad mother and so he took my child from me. That the crack head next door who delivered a crying baby had more potential of being a better mother than I. I was not married and I was only 19, so for the past 11 or so years I’ve blamed myself for her death. Now that I am an atheist, I can see it for what it really was. A tragic random incident that I could not have prevented. I now realize that I was not on “god’s” bad side, I was not inheritently evil and that I am capable of being a good parent. Religion fucked with my head for so many years, and now…I’m free.

    PS, my wife and I are trying to get pregnant. Wish us luck!

  8. Michael says:

    Hi,

    Just listened to the podcast of The Thinking Atheist and I just had to leave a message for you. Your strength is admirable, thanks for sharing your story!

    Regards,
    Michael

  9. Keisha Tyson says:

    Listening to u right now and I think that u are doing a great thing healing yourself and I hate Christians always telling u to look toward the asshole who took your children in the first place…when will christians get over christ and hell. Congratulations on your pregnancy

  10. Bunny says:

    Greetings,

    I had actually found your website through other means (Omaha Atheists had a segment about grief and the godless so I googled it :) ). Your story is very touching. I don’t have babies but I’ve been using your wisdom to apply towards my life and that whole “trying to live in the now” with mom’s death.

    Hearing you on TTA was so encouraging. Thank you for all that you do!

  11. Mark says:

    Outstanding interview! Love TTA.

    All the best with your pregnancy!

  12. =8)-DX says:

    Hello there, heard you on TTA and congratulations on your new pregnancy. Personally I feel strange about your experience – several of my older relatives have already died and for some reason it never seemed to emotionally hit me. Just a year and a half ago however my wife left me, asked for a divorce and is living with a new boyfriend. We take turns looking after our daughter and get on fine in practical matters but I’ve been travelling along a long road of greif – I just feel its built-in that when we lose something we’ve concentrated our life hope and love towards, when we feel a piece of us cut out and taken away – greif is how humans come to terms with reality.

    Hope you do good and thanks for sharing on TTA’s show.

  13. Tim says:

    It was a lovely thing you’ve done with your personal tragedy… just finished tTA’s ‘Grief Without God’ podcast and merely wanted to extend my very best wishes for you and those close to you. Your words were very touching.

  14. heath says:

    I listen to the thinking atheist today and really enjoyed your interview or talk with Seth. One thing that struck me was about how selfless you were with your daughters, letting them go in peace without putting them though all the torture of the doctors trying to saved them.People sometimes forget it’s not always about them in their feelings!

  15. Lei says:

    Thank you very much Time…thank you for reading and listening to the podcast!

  16. Lei says:

    Thank you for reading and listening! Sorry to hear of the loss of you mother, keep working on yourself and your grief will be manageable. It never leaves us, but there is a point where we can remember great memories without crying and that is a great goal to shoot for!

  17. Lei says:

    Thank you for your congrats and thanks for listening/reading!

  18. Lei says:

    Thank you! I feel almost “blessed” for lack of a better word that people are so great to me after the podcast!

  19. Lei says:

    Good luck and thank you for posting a comment! I am so sorry for your loss and am here if you need a shoulder to cry on or to encourage you in your journey!

  20. Lei says:

    Thank you!

  21. Lei says:

    Thank you so much for your kind comment. As I type this Baby A is kicking my bladder! We are all doing good right now.

  22. Lei says:

    Thank you so very much for reading and commenting! I appreciate you sharing my blog with others and one thing to remember is that a hug means more than any words you could possibly say…so you did the right thing!

  23. Lei says:

    Thank you Josh! I appreciate it.

  24. Lei says:

    Thank you so very much for your congratulations!

  25. Randal says:

    I was touched by the podcast and your story. I just wanted to say good luck to you.

  26. Lei says:

    Thank you very much!

  27. Ada says:

    That was a very nice podcast… I’m really sorry for all of your losses, and I can honestly say I understand, as I too have lost a loved one. I lost my 14 year old brother one year ago, when I was 15, so I don’t really know what it’s like to lose a child, but I can see the pain in my parents. We’re all atheists. I have always been one, but I didn’t really think about it or really get into it until my brother died. Now I hate religion so much I can almost call myself a satanist. In one year, my position on religion grew from neutrality to utter hate. I just don’t understand how they think saying things like “God needed an extra angel, so he murdered your 14 year old innocent brother. You understand, right? I mean, you shouldn’t be sad. It was God’s will. You should be honored actually.” (I know they don’t quite say it like that, but you get the point) help us. It doesn’t. Saying things like that just make me want to punch the person who said it out. And beat them until they take it back. I don’t see how thay can call their God compassionate when he constantly kills children for his own selfish will. “God” is a bastard. Another thing I don’t understand when they say it is the typicall “He’s in a better place”. I mean, seriously? I, at least, have my sister, my friends and my parents. But if “heaven” would exist, my brother would have no one. And I know the excuse would be “There is no pain in that place”, but you know what? Screw that. Of course there would be pain, of course he would be in pain. Or does heaven make everyone psychopaths?
    I don’t know if I was supposed to write my story on here. That’s why I’m stopping. Because I could go on for hours, I have so much to say.
    I’m so sorry for everyone else who suffers.

    PS: Congrats on being pregant again! =)

  28. Joseph says:

    Thankyou for sharing your experience, it is great to see these issues being tackled head on and congratulations on your pregnancy.

  29. Nicole says:

    I just wanted to thank you for putting your journey out there. It has touched me. I am not a parent, but i lost my nephew to SIDS when he was 4 months. It seemed that this tragedy drove me even further away from being a believer and on the other hand, it drove some of my family members closer to their religion. I’ve felt alone in dealing with loss being the only agnostic and not having what i see as a crutch.

  30. michelle says:

    That was really nice to hear.As a grieving mother it is hard to find others that are Athiest

  31. Brenda says:

    Just heard the program on the Grief Without God facebook page.

    I can’t even imagine how hard it must be to have gone through all this. Thank you for sharing your story. Hearing about your strength was incredibly inspirational.

    Again, just thank you so much.

  32. Brenda says:

    (Sorry, “Greif Beyond Belief.” Got the titles mixed up)

  33. Harry Young says:

    I just stumbled across the podcast on You Tube and found this website from that. From the bottom of my heart, I wish all the best to you and your family.
    I agree that there is no god and no heaven and we have to make the best of this one life. My 16 year old daughter was murdered 4 years ago. She would have been 21 next month. My counsellor wisely suggested that my grief is similar to living with a physical wound or disability – always there, every day, but you just have to carry on without letting the loss be the defining, dominant, main part of your life.
    I manage now to be less rude to those who suggest that she was an angel or in a better place. I’m glad I live in New Zealand where religion is much weaker.

  34. Cory says:

    Lei, wow just listened to you podcast with Seth, I really admire your strength. I will use this to share with people I know, thank you for your strength. I hope all is well with the new babies. I send you plain old human love.

    Cory

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